As Passenger sings I've been living in this month of Sundays, and I forget what Monday morning feels like. Actually, I feel like I've been living a life of Sundays for over 12 years now. Not that I don't work and that I live a lazy life, but I've simply not been on a regular Monday to Friday work schedule for almost 13 years... and I hadn't challenged myself professionnally for over 15!
Being a camp leader/instructor for Equinox Adventure has been challenging and exhausting at times, but also incredibly empowering. I learned that being given a lot of latitude can feel scary and disconcerting at first, but that it can create incredible results. You end up owning the challenge presented to you in a very different way. It became my camp and I could give it my color. And because of that, I felt more involved and wanted to give more.
I learned that I can do some hard and challenging physical work, even if it pushes me outside of my comfort zone, even if it triggers frustration sometimes at being a short woman working in a world of tall strong men. I kept at it and became competent at the things I thought I could not physically do. And I was that role model for my girls.
We lost Java on the first day of camp. That night, I wanted to quit. I thought I could not do it. It was too much at the same time. I gave myself till the end of that first week. And to my surprise, I wanted to keep doing it. It felt good. It felt right.
Don't get me wrong, being a translator and a homeschooler is rewarding work, but facilitating learning in such a tangible way as on a rock climbing cliff for instance, seeing children challenge themselves, push hard, accompanying them as they face their fears and reach the top, gave me great joy. I felt like a made a small difference. I felt needed. It gave me a new and different purpose and it filled me in a way I hadn't experienced before.
This experience gives me a completely different appreciation of my "life of Sundays". It's all about balance, they say. And I might have to agree.